took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
