I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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