Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
