But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
They took my balls.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
