What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
