The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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