thus making me awesome and them whores
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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