bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
