vagina is talking i cant
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
