So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'd cum for enchiladas.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
