At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
