he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
