idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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