i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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