i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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