there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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