seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
