hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
