She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
