So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
