Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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