We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
