why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
