I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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