She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
