come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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