The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Someone came in the potted fern
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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