New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
