So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
