You can't motorboat a personality
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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