tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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