I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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