Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
