her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I will pee on everything he values.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
