Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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