I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
