the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I stole a fireplace last night.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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