We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sext me about skeletons
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
