dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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