my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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