so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
