how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It was confusing and full of hummus
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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