yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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