ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
