guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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