would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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