He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
