i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
