um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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