help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
