Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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