Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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