i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
