margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
