Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
