hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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