I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
