I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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