the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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